parenthetical musings 3.0
Nobu Miami, A Review (With Pictures, No Less)

Nobu on Urbanspoon

“The food was delicious, it’s really loud, and there’s human tragedy on all sides.”
—my wife

The short version: Five star food and decor; incredibly friendly, if awkward, service; pricey cocktails; one star fellow diners.

Squid Eye Soup

The long version:
After making the stupendously rookie mistake of eating a very large and very late lunch, my wife and I arrived at Nobu for dinner.  We ordered the mid-range omakase, telling our server we were fans of uni and not afraid of anything she might bring us.  And while it’s true nothing challenged us ON the plates, we were utterly undone by the sheer number OF those plates.

The Highlights:
-Salmon sashimi with truffled oil & salt, yuzu, and Japanese pear (probably the best thing of the night)
Wow, this was good


-Wagyu beef, foie gras, wild mushrooms, yuzu marmalade, and a miso(?) foam (the similarities between the textures of the Wagyu and the foie were remarkable)
This could have been the best...


-Yamamomo, or Japanese mountain pear (this wasn’t a dish unto itself, but a diminutive deep red berry that appeared on, and with, many courses)
-Miso pudding, candied pecans, vanilla ice cream, and espresso “foam” sprinkled with cinnamon (served in a small glass atop one another (listed bottom to top), and meant to be eaten by driving your spoon to the very bottom each time, claiming a sample of each layer with every jab)
Featuring the yamamomo!



There was a dish that bears mentioning, not so much because we loved it, but because it was strange and fun and made us giggle:
-Salmon “Pastrami” with shiitake & asparagus “fries”, ponzu miso, and salmon roe - This tasted exactly, and I mean exactly, like a hot dog and barbecue potato chips.
So. Weird.

 

The food was lovely, fun, delicious and serious at times, passable and silly at others.

As for the dining experience and why our evening merited less than five stars: it was loud.  Shout at the person next to you loud.  Piece together what you heard, and what your partner heard, of the description of the food loud. 

And the people, oh the people.  To our left was the married family man pouring out his life story to his dashing and beautiful Rent Boy companion.  To our right was a woman who, when she wasn’t checking her boyfriend’s throat for abnormalities using her tongue, was curling her eyelashes at the table.  Happily our meal was nearly over by the time the foreign gentleman, his marks carefully circled around him, began bragging loudly about the millions he usually handles and wondering, also loudly, when they were going to go get the money.

I wish it could just be about the food, oh I do (as I sit here, my belly threatening to burst like the fat sausage casing it’s become), but the people around us, and through whom we had to elbow, shove, and power-walk just to leave, were incredibly distracting.

Broiled Lobster

—Benjamin’s Disclaimer: This review is based on a single dining experience.  And while your own mileage will most definitely vary, one chance is often all a restaurant gets to make an impression.  Make your own decisions.  Aaaaaaand maybe don’t eat so much lunch a scant two hours before what turns out to be a ten course tasting menu.  Yeesh.

As these things go, it should go without saying that the week I decide not to post daily updates of what I’m putting into my mouth, I lose nearly ten pounds and reach my lowest weight yet. 

Day One-Hundred

So here, at day one-hundred, I find that after a week of eating poorly and not keeping up with my log or measurements, I’ve gained nearly ten pounds from my lowest weight.  Sometimes it takes being smacked in the nose to recognize what you already know. 

I like this diet, though it is, in all fairness, more of a lifestyle than a diet.  I have a terrible weakness for sugar, though, and I’ve not been able to hold it off the last couple of weeks.  This is a necessary wake up call, and while I’m not happy I’ve gained so much, it’s helped me to recommit.

Measurements for 2012-04-06:

-Body Fat Percentage: %
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: -1.7%
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): -12.2%

-Weight: 242.8lbs
Change from previous measurement: +4.7lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -15.5lbs

Food

-Breakfast: 2 eggs, an amount of egg white equal(ish) to that of a third egg and sauteed onions, with baby spinach and Jyoti’s dal makhani.

-Lunch:

-Dinner:

Day Ninety-Seven

Measurements for 2012-04-06:

-Body Fat Percentage: 18.2%
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: -1.7%
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): -12.2%

-Weight: 238.1lbs
Change from previous measurement: -1.9lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -20.2lbs

Food

-Breakfast: 2 eggs, an amount of egg white equal(ish) to that of a third egg and sauteed onions, with Romaine and Jyoti’s dal makhani.  Also two pieces of very spicy sausage (i.e., two small slices of a bratwurst-sized thing) and half an avocado.

-Lunch:

-Dinner:

Day Ninety-Five

I’ve derailed entirely from the diet.  I have such a strong desire for sugar right now, I can’t have anything in the house that’s illegal.  That stops today.

Measurements for 2012-04-04:

-Body Fat Percentage: I didn’t measure it today
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: —
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): —

-Weight: 240lbs
Change from previous measurement: +0.8lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -18.3lbs

Food

-Breakfast: 2 eggs, an amount of egg white equal(ish) to that of a third egg and sauteed onions, with baby spinach and Jyoti’s dal makhani.

-Lunch:

-Dinner:

Day Ninety-Two

Measurements for 2012-04-01:

-Body Fat Percentage: I didn’t measure it today
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: —
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): —

-Weight: 239.2lbs (Stupid ice cream… why do I love you so?)
Change from previous measurement: +3.2lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -19.1lbs

Food

-Breakfast: The second half of that ice cream pint from two nights ago.

-Lunch: Ground turkey and white bean chilli from Whole Foods, augmented with sauteed onions and an avocado.

-Dinner:

Day Ninety-One — Binge Day

Measurements for 2012-03-31:

-Body Fat Percentage: I didn’t measure it today
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: —
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): —

-Weight: 236.1lbs (Stupid ice cream… why do I love you so?)
Change from previous measurement: +1.5lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -22.2lbs

Food

-Breakfast: A Honeycrisp apple.  Best.  Thing.  Ever.

-Lunch: Dim sum at Jade Palace.  We keep meaning to try it for their Chinese food, but the dim sum is so great we can’t imagine not ordering it.

-Dinner: Cheese plate, bread, homemade garlic bread, a piece of shitty shitty store bought frozen California Pizza Kitchen pizza (seriously, that’s the best they can do?), a beer, several little panna cottas, and a root beer float. 

Day Ninety

Measurements for 2012-03-30:

-Body Fat Percentage: I didn’t measure it today
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: —
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): —

-Weight: 234.6lbs
Change from previous measurement: -0.1lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -23.7lbs

Food

-Breakfast: 2 eggs, an amount of egg white equal(ish) to that of a third egg and sauteed onions, with baby spinach and Jyoti’s dal makhani. Also, half an avocado.

-Lunch:

-Dinner: Carnitas meat with onions, cilantro, and avocado.  I then had half a pint of ice cream.  Because… fuck it.

Day Eighty-Nine

Measurements for 2012-03-29:

-Body Fat Percentage: I didn’t measure it today
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: —
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): —

-Weight: 234.7lbs
Change from previous measurement: -0.6lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -23.6lbs

Food

-Breakfast: 2 eggs, an amount of egg white equal(ish) to that of a third egg and sauteed onions, with baby spinach and Jyoti’s dal makhani. Also, half an avocado.

-Lunch: A crap chicken bowl at Moe’s, which is nowhere near as good as QDoba. 

-Dinner: Crab legs, both snow and king.

Day Eighty-Eight in Which I Derail

I’ve been having some pretty serious sugar cravings lately.  Today was not a day I successfully resisted them.

Measurements for 2012-03-28:

-Body Fat Percentage: I didn’t measure it today
(Measured with the Personal BodyMetrix scanner, Jackson & Pollock 3-site formula).
Change from previous measurement: —
Total Change from first measurement (1/6/2012): —

-Weight: 235.3lbs
Change from previous measurement: -0.9lbs
Total change from Day One (1/1/2012): -23lbs

Food

-Breakfast: 2 eggs, sauteed onions, with baby spinach and Jyoti’s dal makhani.

-Lunch: Nuts and various bits of chocolate.  Also a bag of jerky.  Christ, I’ve fallen off the wagon. I also had the last third of a bottle of artisan root beer.  Kee-rist.

-Dinner: Crab meat cooked with duck fat, cayenne, and fish sauce.  Also, a side of Brussels sprouts.